This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
