Only a mothe r could love this liver
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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