Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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