i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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