You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
