those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
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I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
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Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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