Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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