I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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