Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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