There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
