The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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