Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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