I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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