Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
