I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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