didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
