Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I enjoy the company of your penis
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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