you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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