Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
