I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
