hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
