I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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