She is in my trunk
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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