If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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