Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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