The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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