so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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