He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm really busy with my period
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