she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
