I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
