If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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