Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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