the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
