can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
