Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
