You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize