I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
