P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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