he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
