The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
