yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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