She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Who died my cat blue again?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
