If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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