youre lurking in front of me
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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