once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize