I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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