I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize