I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
