And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
my being single is dangerous.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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