party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
