If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
