I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize