I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
