we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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