Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
