I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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