i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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