Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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