hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
