I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
not ubering you a puppy
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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