i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
