So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
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Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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