oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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