Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
