People in love make me want to vomit
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize